Posts tagged “jargon”

How are you enjoying your FLDRV, Steve Portigal?

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Today I received an email from online tech goods vendor Newegg with the subject line “Newegg.com – Product Voting Invitation.” The message reads, in part:

Dear steve portigal,
Thank you for shopping at Newegg.com.

We thought you’d like to know that your recent purchase contains one or more items currently nominated for Newegg’s Customer Choice Award:

Sales Order Number:
Sales Order Date: 12/31/2010 11:30:09 AM

FLDRV 16G|OCZ FLDRV OCZUSBDSL16G R

We’d like you to rate your satisfaction level for the nominated product(s) that you have purchased.

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I’m not sure I remember ordering a FLDRV, especially a 16G|OCZ FLDRV OCZUSBDSL16G R.

Who talks to their customers like this?

Also see a similar experience with Lenovo

Colloquial is not Authentic

We frequently encourage clients to make their language accessible, get out of their own heads, talk to people in/on/around products and services using words their customers can actually understand, and to keep in mind that just because a room full of product managers, brand gurus, software engineers and consultants know what certain words mean, doesn’t mean that their intended market will. At best the wrong language can confuse, at worst it can make people feel intimidated or condescended to.


BMW does a pretty good job here of both using the geeky jargon and then telling folks what it does for them.

There is an irony to this, of course, as we work within a tribe of business consultants known for using obtuse and sometimes even made-up vocabulary to impress our clients. Rob Walker of the New York Times Magazine treated us to a glimpse of what this language feels like outside the tribe in his recent Consumed piece on Chiquita

Ciafardini says Chiquita is particularly interested in communicating to the under-25 crowd that the company offers the ‘convenient healthy snacking platforms that people are looking for these days.’ (I believe that means bananas.)

Our friends at Mule Design have even developed a business-consultant-jargon translation engine to treat the problem: unsuckit.com.

This irony humbly set aside, check out the graffiti beset upon this advertisement from Blackberry, which refers to people’s “Homies, Mates, Buds and Bros.” This was snapped in San Francisco’s Mission District, where people certainly do refer to each other in some of these terms unironically.

It demonstrates that the message, colloquial as it is, is not quite connecting. Instead, it resulted in an angry action using terms both colloquial and authentic: these people don’t give a fuck about you. A dose of process consultation (which unsuckifies as “free advice”) to the ad agency that surely tested this ad with focus groups of homies, mates, buds and bros. Next time, consider asking, “Does the wording of this advertisement make you feel like we give a fuck about you? If not, why not?”

See also:

Steve’s thoughts on this whole authenticity thing in a column for interactions magazine.

Another failed communication attempt – a bunch of people no doubt spent a lot of time coming up with a low tire warning symbol that no one can figure out.

ChittahChattah Quickies

  • Fanboy! The Strange True Story of the Tech World’s Favorite Put-Down [Technologizer] – To understand the origins of “fanboy,” you don’t need to go back to 1919…but you do need to start earlier than 1985. Try 1973–when a handful of copies of a fanzine were distributed at a Chicago comics convention. The zine was credited to two fans who took Marvel Comics, the work of Frank Frazetta, and other matters a wee bit too seriously, Alfred Judson and Bill Beasley.

Dear Valued Lenovo Purchasing Unit 29 Stroke J

A month ago I ordered a new laptop computer from Lenovo. It was supposed to ship 3 weeks after I ordered it, but by the time the shipping date arrived, the online status no longer showed a shipping date. I called for info about my order and was promised they would check into it and call me back. They did not. I emailed asking about my order, but never heard back.

Today I get this email (bad characters and typos included)

Dear Valued Lenovo Customer,

Thank you for your recent Lenovo order. We are working to ship your order as soon as possible. However, due to an industry constraint on the Intel Core™ i7 processoor, the shipment of your purchase will be delayed. At this time we cannot provide you with a specific shipping date.

We wanted to inform you of this delay as soon as possible, and offer you a couple of choices regarding your order:
1) We can transition your order from the Intel Core™ i7 processor to the Intel Core™ i5 processor. This will result in a $150 decrease from the purchase price of your original order, and we can ship the product within two weeks of rebooking the order.
2) Leave your order as is, and when the Intel Core™ i7 processor becomees available, we will build your system with high priority and ship to you as soon as possible.

Below are the technical differences between the two processors to help you make your decision. They share many of the same features and functions, but the i7 does provide a larger cache that can make a difference if you are running data-intensive applications and games.

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followed by this lovely chart:

Ummm, pardon? Sure, if you buy a computer you are sadly forced to deal with terms like “clock speed” and the like, but as a consumer am I really being asked by Lenovo to deal with “Lithography” as a relevant influencing factor on my decision?

In addition to this just being a wholly unsatisfactory customer experience (30 days later and I’ve got no computer and at best I am offered a lesser computer in another two weeks?) I can’t believe that a company I am doing business with chooses to communicate with me in this arcane and frankly disrespectful manner. Lenovo, how’s about meeting me where I live?

ChittahChattah Quickies

  • Overused Food Words (from 2007) – Now we know what's wrong with "crispy" – it should just be "crisp." But here's a more thought-out list of overused terminology.
  • The Seattle Times (from 2006): Say what? A guide to menu-speak – We've blogged this before, but it's fun to revisit. This explains the meaning of some of the obscure food items that are becoming more common on menus.
  • (From 2001) Menu Cliches – "piping hot"
    "garden fresh"
  • Village Voice's List of Overused Food Words – List includes Dollop, Slathered, Homey, Wilted, Toothsome, Nosh, Drizzled, Garlicky, Crispy, Eatery, Well-Browned but doesn't seem that they've really parsed the difference between effective description and overwrought cliche. How is "crispy" an overused word? Some commenters add some good words but others support my confusion over the premise.
    (via Eater SF)
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What do you want to have?

wannahaves
Window sign, Amsterdam, May 2009

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It’s pretty clear from the list of items available who this store (adjacent to a nice hotel) is catering to

Gifts, wannahaves, cold drinks, candy, souvenirs and: toothpaste, toothbrushes, shampoo, nailclippers, lighters, shavingfoam, adapters, batteries, toys, Delft blue, jewelry, magnets, T-shirts, caps, bags, kitchenstuff, dolls, etcetera ..

But what the heck is a wannahave? Seems to be Dutch slang for a desirable artifact (obvious, I guess). There’s even Wannahaves International

WHS International BV is owner, Publisher and exploiter of the international brand Wannahaves(r). Wannahaves primarily targets young modern men in age range 18-34.

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And to that point, the navigation on their website includes: Gadgets, Games, Babes and Lifestyle.

I guess I’ve learned a new word!

Meanwhile, photos from our trip to Amsterdam are slowly going up here

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.

Environmental and Emotional Impact Assessment

This NYT article on the influence of language about the environment is a good example of the issues I explored in my recent interactions column Poets, Priests, and Politicians.

The problem with global warming, some environmentalists believe, is “global warming.” The term turns people off, fostering images of shaggy-haired liberals, economic sacrifice and complex scientific disputes, according to extensive polling and focus group sessions conducted by ecoAmerica, a nonprofit environmental marketing and messaging firm in Washington.

Instead of grim warnings about global warming, the firm advises, talk about “our deteriorating atmosphere.” Drop discussions of carbon dioxide and bring up “moving away from the dirty fuels of the past.” Don’t confuse people with cap and trade; use terms like “cap and cash back” or “pollution reduction refund.”

ChittahChattah Quickies

  • What is the deal with Jughead's hat? – This is something the Internet is truly great at: as an archive for the exploration and explanation of the obscure aspects of the familiar. What will future anthropologists make of the Internet of our generation?
  • Karachi, Pakistan manufacturing firm produces corsets and fetish wear (for export) – The brothers said Pakistan’s “stone-age production” worked to their advantage. The country, they said, lacks visionary product development. “Everyone’s still making the same products,” Adnan said.

    Then, they discovered a kind of straitjacket online. At first, they thought it was used for psychiatric patients, but it quickly led them to learn about the lucrative fetish industry.

    Today, they sell their products to online and brick-and-mortar shops, and to individuals via eBay. Their market research, they said, showed that 70 percent of their customers were middle- to upper-class Americans, and a majority of them Democrats. The Netherlands and Germany account for the bulk of their European sales.

    “We really believe that if you are persistent and hard working, there is an opportunity, in any harsh environment, even in an economically depressed environment like Pakistan,” Rizwan said.

  • Average frustrated chump – for what's a subculture without its jargon? – Often abbreviated "AFC," is seduction community jargon for a heterosexual male who is unsuccessful at finding sexual or romantic relationships with women] This person seeks attraction and longingly desires intimacy, but only finds cordial friendship and platonic love with women. The term AFC is pejorative, and is attributed to NLP teacher Ross Jeffries.
  • Seduction? Yeah we've got a group for that – The "seduction community" refers to a loose-knit subculture of men who strive for better sexual and romantic success with women through self-improvement and a greater understanding of social psychology. It exists largely through Internet forums and groups, as well as over a hundred local clubs, called "lairs" Supporters refer to the subculture simply as 'the community" and often call themselves "pickup artists." Origins date back to Eric Weber's 1970 book How to Pick Up Girls.

Series

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