Wake up tomorrow feeling like a million bucks with …

Extreme Colon Cleanser …

“This stuff truly works. I couldn’t believe the difference I felt without the harsh side-effects of a laxative”
– William Bennett

Spam of the Week
Sorry But Your Friends Are Saying Your Teeth Are Yellow

If you are a Time Traveler from Dimension D1263GT10, year 2008 or Dimension D2044GT5, year 2432 and or in possession of the Dimensional Warp Generator wrist watch, the Carbon Copy Replica model #52 4350 series or similar technology I need your help! My entire life and health has been messed with by evil beings! I simply need the safest method of transferring my
consciousness or returning to my younger self with my current mind/memory. I need an advanced time traveler to work with who can help me, I’d would prefer someone with access to teleportation as well as a variety different types of time travel. This is not a joke! I am serious! Please send a separate email to me at: Robbyyy1@aol.com if you can help! Thanks

Is your Modem / Computer Safe during this monsoon ?

Is your Computer / Modem Safe ? Email us at microsafepo@yahoo.co.in to get more details.

Know about a product which I. T. Giants like Satyam & DAX bundle with their Internet Packs / Modems for quite some time now !

Have you had instances when your Modem silently died without you knowing the reason ?

Have you experienced Hard Disk Crashes, Failed Components etc. in the System where you couldn’t locate the source of the problem ?

What about your Cordless Phone / Answering Machines / EPABX Systems which crashed just like that ?

This happens as our Systems are exposed to Transients, Spikes, Surges & Lightning Attacks that leak thru’ the Telephone Line, even when the System’s power is off !

At least 3 to 4 times a day, Transients leak thru’ the Telephone Line producing a Spike, which can be potentially damaging to the Modem / Computer & even the Cordless Phone / Fax / Answering Machine / EPABX.

At Rs.499/- ‘MICROSAFE’ costs only a fraction of the price of the Computer that you will be protecting.

“MICROSAFE” would install itself between the telephone line and the precious equipment and it gives you complete protection from :

1. Spikes & Surges.
2. EMI – Electro Magnetic Interference.
3. ESI – Electro Static Interference.
4. Lightning Strikes – Both Direct & Induced.

Sounds Interesting ? Just Email to microsafepo@yahoo.co.in with complete shipping details and we shall send you the piece by VPP to your place at no extra charge. A Guaranteed Savings of Rs.75/- on this must have product ! You can also send us an email requesting “More Info on Microsafe” and we shall send you the same.

For those who like the smell of money, this is a huge business opportunity. Yes. We are looking for Business Partners to take this product to places and make lots of money in the process !

Unsubscribe Instructions : We respect your privacy. There is no need to unsubscribe as this is an one time email only.

I got your email from ICQ, may be it will be interested?
The BEST zoo site on the @net!
Sex With Dogs
Horse Blow Jobs.
Snake Fuck.
REAL ANIMAL FUCKING!
100% HARDCORE!
rol.rape-sexy.com

——————————————————————————–
unsub
Good luck.

And of course, I got four copies of this, one to each of my different email addresses

Date: Sat, 8 Jun 2002 21:52:56 +0800
From: “Mary Galestan”
To: steve.pollock@designacc.com
Cc: steve.pollock@earthlink.net, steve.pope@earthlink.net,
steve.portigal@pobox.com, steve.potis@earthlink.net
Subject: steve.pollock,Naturally increase your breast size, safely and effectively

=================================

Guaranteed to increase, lift and firm your
breasts in 60 days or your money back!!

100% herbal and natural. Proven formula since
1996. Increase your bust by 1 to 3 sizes within 30-60
days and be all natural.

Click here:
http://218.7.157.206:100

Absolutely no side effects!
Be more self confident!
Be more comfortable in bed!
No more need for a lift or support bra!

100% GUARANTEED AND FROM A NAME YOU KNOW AND
TRUST!

Hey, if you really like spam, you can listen to it being read by a computer voice, on top of nice ambient music, at www.spamradio.com.

Today’s interesting spam is not something I will share the details of, suffice to say that it is for the Kegelmaster 2000.

Folks, I don’t make this stuff up.

I got this strangely targeted spam today:

For FreshMeat:
Hi Steve,

Here’s an article I wrote that I think might work well in your
newsletter.

Please let me know if you decide to use it.

Shelley

Shelley Lowery
http://www.web-source.net/cgi-bin/t.cgi?l=bl1

>>>>
New Meta Tag Driving Targeted Traffic to Websites

By Shelley Lowery

The Aesop Meta Tag is a new standard that is dramatically
changing the way we search the Internet. This new Meta
Tag not only returns highly targeted search results, but it
also provides website owners with highly targeted traffic.

The concept is simple. The Aesop Meta Tag provides website
owners with a standardized method of classifying their web
pages into one of six categories. The Search Engine matches
the search terms with appropriate web pages according to
the classification. This enables the Search Engine to return
fast and relevant results for users — while at the same time,
driving highly targeted traffic to the websites.

When classifying a website, webmasters can categorize each
page within their website rather than just one general
classification. This allows for precise targeting not only for
specific search terms, but also for each page of a website.

The new classification categories are as follows:

Sales

The “Sales” classification signifies that the purpose of a web
page is to sell a product or service. This includes any web
page that plays a role in the sales process or leads to a sales
page. This classification will provide those selling a product or
service with highly targeted traffic, as the search results will
display a sales icon. This icon will immediately let the user
know that this particular page is selling a product or service.
If they’re in the market to buy, they’ll click through.

[snipped because who wants to read the rest of the thing?]

Anyway, here’s my reply. We’ll see what happens!

Thanks for your article Shelley. You obviously have taken a good look at FreshMeat, because you’ve hit right on the core of what I’m communicating to my readers.

I’m sure they’ll get a lot of pleasure out of your article.

Thanks again,
Steve Portigal

And yeah, I’m being sarcastic. FreshMeat is so completely unrelated it’s barely even funny. Check it out.

Sure.

We received a call today from a gentleman who needed multiple copies of EZ Maintenance for his truck centers over a tri-state area. Unfortunately, the caller did not leave a call back number.

If you were not the caller, our apologies for sending you this E Mail. If you did call us, we are quite interested in working with you, and if you would be so kind as to call (661) 286-0041 and leave your call back number, we will contact you immediately.

Regards,

Wayne D. McFarland
EZ Maintenance Software

From: “Hotel Asena Beach”
To: steve
Subject: sales dep.
Date: Fri, 15 Feb 2002 02:33:16 +0200

Dear Sir/Madam,
We are hotelier in Turkey / Fethiye
our hotel is by the Oludeniz which is the best beach choise in Turkey.
We woul like to work with your company for summer 2002.
For more information please contact us.Here are our room rates for your company

PERÔø?YOD DBL.PP.HB SING.SUPP. EXTRA BED CHD 7-12
APRIL 10 EURO FREE %50 FREE
MAY 18 EURO %50 %50 %50
JUNE 25 EURO %50 %50 %50
JULY 37 EURO %50 %50 %50
AUGUST 37 EURO %50 %50 %50
SEPTEM 27 EURO %50 %50 %50
OCTOBER 18 EURO %50 %50 %50

PS:PLEASE REPLY TO FAX:+90 252 617 0487

With Sincere Best Wishes
Suleyman BUYRUK
Reservation Supervisor

HOTEL ASENA BEACH
Belcekiz mevkii
Oludeniz/Fethiye
48340 Mugla/Turkiye

TEL :+90 252 617 0154
FAX :+90 252 617 0487
GSM :+90 533 650 0239
http://www.asenabeach.com
e-mail :info@asenabeach.com

New spam-attention-grabbing-technique using the ol’ subject line.

I got two messages today, one with the subject line “is everything ok, mrs. burlando” and another with the subject line “is everything ok, mrs. glanzman.” Some sort of prescription drug bypass service.

This is a pretty groovy disclaimer (found at the beginning of a piece of spam email I received):

Warning! This message is intended solely for individuals of legal age interested in sex with animals. Please delete it immediately if extreme explicit materials may be offensive for you or in your community or you are younger than 18 years..