Popcorn hacks (kottke.org)

Popcorn hacks is a posting to one of the most popular blogs out there, kottke.org

If you’ve got a bag of Orville Redenbacher’s Butter microwave popcorn on hand but no microwave, there’s no need to panic. Just tear open the bag and pour the kernels into a large pot. Put over medium heat. The kernels will be in a big clump of congealed butter-like substance…break them apart with a wooden spoon as the pot heats up and the ‘butter’ starts to melt.

When the ‘butter’ is melted, stir the kernels around with the spoon so they don’t burn. At this point, you may want to don some protective eyewear so that when the first kernels pop, you don’t get hot butter-like liquid in your eye; I just put on my sunglasses. When the first kernels pop, cover the pot and shake it across the burner so the kernels don’t burn. Stop periodically to listen for pops and to exclaim, ‘I can’t believe this is actually working!’ When popping stops, quickly remove from the heat, and get it out of that hot pot into a bowl. Eat. As good as microwaved.

This is just everything that irks me about these over-the-top popular blogs; there’s no sense of quality control. What a moronic post, on the level of “I called my best friend last nite but he had to go too bad” but written with slightly higher level of precision. Why is everything a “hack” nowadays? This isn’t a hack, it’s just stupid. Why would you ever want to do this? I guess this guy did a post recently about how to clean up spilled cola, too. At least that wasn’t a hack.

Update: I neglected to mention that this guy made history by claiming that blogging was now his job, and asking his readers to support him. I did not, but if I had, I would certainly be looking for a refund. Great riff on this is here. Let me suggest that he’s probably taking product placement money from the Orville Redenbacher people.

Update2: I posted my product placement theory to MetaFilter. See if there’s any discussion (or if it gets canceled).

Update3: Canceled. Maybe that took about 20 minutes? Nice.


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