It’s Opposite Day at Verizon

I’m sick of getting all this crap from Verizon (my wireless provider) – all these oversize postcards advertising stuff I do not want. I’m sure I’ve opted out before in every way possible, but I tried again.

Sent via their website: Please do not send me any postal solicitations for other verizon services. I do not wish to receive communication or advertisements from Verizon beyond my existing account. Thank you.

Email response, a day later:

Dear Steve Portigal,
Thank you for contacting Verizon Wireless through our website. We appreciate your email and we can assist you.
A request has to be removed from our Do-Not Contact list has been completed.
Please remember, as part of our Worry Free Guarantee if you ever have a problem, it becomes our problem the first time you contact us. Feel free to contact us again through if you have any further questions.

Verizon Wireless
Customer Service

“We never stop working for you!”

Oh, geez. I followed up, of course, and did hear back
We apologize sincerely for the last email, as that was incorrect information. You have been removed from our marketing list now, so you should not receive any more solicitation in the future, unless it is specific to the account that you already have.

Welcome to Verizon, where yes is no, removed is added. I’d like to removed from the removal of the Do-Not-Contact negative list in oppositisy, please. Everything I say is backwards. This sentence is not true.


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